OK, so here we are on the 14th of January, and the momentum that we had from the slingshot that is the New Year, and the good intentions that irrationally bubble up in its wake, is waning. I have at least three friends on Facebook who are doing juice fasts, I myself have gone on the wagon for the month. We as a group are in the grips of our desires to achieve our Aristotelian Ideal of ourselves. It is a bit of mystery why this ideal rears its unreasonable head at the beginning of each New Year. Perhaps, the whole notion of a fresh start, a blank slate is irresistible. But every choice that we have made up until this moment is still the same choice. Our lives are the same lives. We wake up on January 1st as ourselves, albeit maybe a little hung over. I have yet to witness personality transplants magically happening over night. So what to do?
Cut it out.
Stop the charade. But, say you, I really want to change. Fair enough. But let’s be clear, change is hard. So I will refer you back to my New Years post. Choose one thing. Low hanging fruit. Something do-able. Not easy, but do-able. Stop drinking soda. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Drink a glass of water when you wake up in the morning. Write a thank you note. Bite your tongue instead of saying that mean thing. Once. One thing. Something reasonable.
You’ll feel so much better about yourself.
Tags: Burnt Out, Change, Coaching, Goals, Hard Work, Initiative, Inspiration, Personal growth, Resilience
I still love this approach. Self Leadership starts at home, with one thing. Determination on one thing that can become even a piece of a lifestyle. (Although sadly this article busted my 21 day goal of things I am trying to make a habit – http://blogs.ucl.ac.uk/hbrc/2012/06/29/busting-the-21-days-habit-formation-myth/ ).
For me I am trying to write a recommendation to someone different on LinkedIn once a day. Nothing expected in return but just taking 3 minutes out of my day to recognize someone I have worked with and appreciated.
I agree that there is something so irresistible about starting fresh and new for the new year. I personally have never been into making new years resolutions because I think you should always be improving yourself and not just have a proclamation one time a year. There are so many excuses we have before we allow change to happen in our lives. I think Madeleine”s point of making your goal realistic and do-able is essential. Don”t make a goal of running a marathon if you can only run a mile. Set a goal of a 5K and be kind to yourself. Life is about learning new things and growing everyday. Happy 2013!
I love that you put in the “and be kind to yourself.” I wonder how many people give up on their resolutions or goals because they expect an unrealistic perfection?
Great point! Someone recently remarked to me that many people create a new years resolution that they promptly forget about. However, what is not part of our practice is to make a resolution to keep the resolution.
I”m definitely taking one small thing to do – habits don”t change with resolutions. Rather, they change a little at a time with small tweaks.
Great post. I think it is easy to set yourself up for failure if you expect a whole lot of change all at once. We tend to think of the New Year as a fresh beginning – a way to reinvent ourselves. But the part of it that I have to keep reminding myself about is that I never leave my old self behind. It is part of who I am and what got me here. And on my long journey (hopefully) I strive to improve. That shouldn”t be tied to a time or date, but does need to be a focal point that I keep working at until the goal is accomplished.
Ok, I did my one thing, because you are right, ONE thing IS doable. Thanks Mad. Very practical. Now if I could just make that a habit.